The Rut

Yep, I’m stuck in it again. We just can’t get rid of each other these days. I get sucked in and feel weighed down and completely idle. Like I can’t go anywhere. Like I have to wait for some green light to switch on and tell me to carry on. But that green light I’m waiting on burned out.

Now, I realize I’m only 24 years old. I’ve got plenty of time to find jobs, switch jobs, change my mind, go on dates, meet new people, etc. If there is one thing I’ve been trying to convince myself of for the last few months it’s that there is no right way to go through your twenties. There is no pre-designed path to follow. There is no time limit for what milestones I reach and how I go about reaching them. The problem is, I see people around me (both in real life and online) succeeding and I wonder which fork in the road I took incorrectly. The other problem is that I can try to convince myself all I want, but that doesn’t mean it really sticks. I really, truly, feel stuck right now.

One of the things I added to my “25×25” bucket list (which I swear I’ll design and post soon) was to stop comparing myself to others. I focused that goal more-so on appearance, but when I hang out with my rut, I realize I heavily compare myself to others’ successes. How did she land that job? How is she already married at 23? How does she make her creativity/work look so effortless? I can’t answer those questions, but I guess I don’t really need to. Social media outlets have completely skewed how we share and see things. I personally only choose to share certain things on instagram/twitter/facebook, mostly for the sake of keeping some level of privacy. But also because I don’t want people to see the rough patches. And there’s nothing wrong with that! When I compare myself, I forget to consider that these women hit rough patches too. We all hit our personal bumps in the road. We all have days we don’t feel creative or motivated or good enough.

So maybe I’ve just got a flat on this horribly bumpy road. I’m not waiting on anyone to come fix it for me. I know I can fix it myself, I’ve just got to find that spark that motivates me.

Long story short: I’m in a rut and I needed to write some things down to get them off my mind. Maybe just to take a little weight off, maybe just to hope that someone reads this and can relate.


Now Playing: July 2014 Edition

You know those songs that are inexplicably more enjoyable when you’re wearing shades, the sun is out, and the wind is warm? They’re the songs that make you feel like the sun wants to linger a little longer, like you need to get up and dance around, like you’re in the opening credits of your own romcom/teen romance movie. That’s what I’ve captured in song for Now Playing: July Edition.

I was talking with my best friend-slash-music soulmate-slash favorite Sydney-dweller, Blake, about how we’re constantly moved by how music has such a strong impact on memories. Blake was on a wanderluster’s dream adventure traveling through Europe and like the wonderful musical soulmate he is, came home with loads of songs to tell me about (complete with story of where it was heard). What better way to encapsulate the summer or the adventure of a lifetime than to have a ton of tracks to remind you of it years later?

With that in mind, I threw some older songs and a few favorites from previous Now Playing posts just because they fit my criteria of “the perfect summer song.” The criteria? You just have to feel it when you hear it. I often found myself driving with the windows down and my stereo up with these exact songs. And since July is both the best month of the year and the most summery month of summer, I couldn’t resist. You’re about to hear a lot of happy, energetic, beat-fueled pop (with my signature slow jams sprinkled throughout). Keep an eye out for my absolute most exciting find, Misterwives’ “Reflections.” I still can’t put into words exactly what I love about this song. But maybe that alone says enough.

Without further ado, here’s what I had playing in July. Crank it up and let August rock!


Ed Sheeran – Don’t
Hellogoodbye – Finding Something To Do
The Harmaleighs – Sunflowers
NONONO – Pumpin Blood
Said The Whale – I Love You
The Unlikely Candidates – Follow My Feet
Jason Lancaster – You ‘N’ Me
OneRepublic – Love Runs Out
Bleachers – I Wanna Get Better
Magic! – Rude
Miley Cyrus – FU
Iggy Azalea – Black Widow
Ed Sheeran – Bloodstream
Kacey Musgraves – Keep It To Yourself
Hamilton Leithauser – Alexandra
Holley Maher – Perfect Day
MisterWives – Reflections
Sia – Chandelier
Andrew McMahon – Synesthesia
Matt Nathanson – Wedding Dress
The Wind and The Wave – It’s a Longer Road to California Than I Thought