nothing hurts quite like loving you

Advertisements

Literally, Darling

10955663_448312488650823_4482908726675572102_n

Hello out there! I know, it seems like I’ve fallen off the face of the earth in terms of this blog, but I haven’t! I’ve just been on the hunt for new, exciting opportunities.

On that note, you’ll never guess who just joined the incredible team of writers over at Literally, Darling. Ok, so it’s actually a pretty easy guess after all. It’s me! I’ll be contributing to the website a few times a month. So if you’re looking for a site that posts content geared toward millennial women, check us out!

(And if you’re wondering exactly how pumped I am to join Literally, Darling, please see gif below:)

To check out my Literally, Darling contributions, click here!

The Rut

Yep, I’m stuck in it again. We just can’t get rid of each other these days. I get sucked in and feel weighed down and completely idle. Like I can’t go anywhere. Like I have to wait for some green light to switch on and tell me to carry on. But that green light I’m waiting on burned out.

Now, I realize I’m only 24 years old. I’ve got plenty of time to find jobs, switch jobs, change my mind, go on dates, meet new people, etc. If there is one thing I’ve been trying to convince myself of for the last few months it’s that there is no right way to go through your twenties. There is no pre-designed path to follow. There is no time limit for what milestones I reach and how I go about reaching them. The problem is, I see people around me (both in real life and online) succeeding and I wonder which fork in the road I took incorrectly. The other problem is that I can try to convince myself all I want, but that doesn’t mean it really sticks. I really, truly, feel stuck right now.

One of the things I added to my “25×25” bucket list (which I swear I’ll design and post soon) was to stop comparing myself to others. I focused that goal more-so on appearance, but when I hang out with my rut, I realize I heavily compare myself to others’ successes. How did she land that job? How is she already married at 23? How does she make her creativity/work look so effortless? I can’t answer those questions, but I guess I don’t really need to. Social media outlets have completely skewed how we share and see things. I personally only choose to share certain things on instagram/twitter/facebook, mostly for the sake of keeping some level of privacy. But also because I don’t want people to see the rough patches. And there’s nothing wrong with that! When I compare myself, I forget to consider that these women hit rough patches too. We all hit our personal bumps in the road. We all have days we don’t feel creative or motivated or good enough.

So maybe I’ve just got a flat on this horribly bumpy road. I’m not waiting on anyone to come fix it for me. I know I can fix it myself, I’ve just got to find that spark that motivates me.

Long story short: I’m in a rut and I needed to write some things down to get them off my mind. Maybe just to take a little weight off, maybe just to hope that someone reads this and can relate.

“23”: Updated (5/23 complete + another update)

1. Leave my job at IB

2. Get a new job (and love it)

!!! 3. Go back to Australia (to study, work, or take a vacation)

4. Meet and hang out with Blake

5. Get my first tattoo (if I’m feeling brave- second and third as well)

6. Hang out with Jessica (in NYC, NJ, or Chicago) again- without the anxiety this time

7. Visit California (esp. San Clemente & Kristen Stewart’s handprints @ TCL)

8. Get paid to write

9. Go on vacation with Amanda Our New Years Eve trip turned into a bit of a vacation… it’s a stretch, but we did spend 5 days together + 7 hours driving!

10. Run a 5K (with a few stops at most)

11. Do/try something new/spontaneous. Anything.

12. Learn something new

13. Meet someone famous (actor/musician/writer/athlete) I met Sophia Bush on November 6th!

14. Meet someone that impacts my life in a positive way

15. Impact someone’s life in a positive way

16. Fall in love (with a person, place, or hobby)

17. Finally finish my Invisalign treatment

18. Man up and get my wisdom teeth pulled

19. Go on a date (and maybe a second?!)

20. See the Blackhawks play in Nashville OR see the Western Sydney Wanderers play in Melbourne

21. Do something for myself

22. Read a total of 23 books

23. Find a new favorite spot in Chicago

Updates
So many things on my list are pending right now (and I’m not going to say which ones exactly, but there are approx. 11). Here’s a little breakdown:

  • #3: It’s happening. Booked and not nearly ready to go, but it’s happening!
  • #4: See you in April, Blake!
  • #10: Signed up and ready to rock the Color Run with Team TS in June
  • #12 is finally filled in– I want to learn something new! I realized I really haven’t learned or studied anything since graduating, so I want to keep this nice and broad. Whether I learn how to watercolor properly or work in HTML or how to understand the stock market or how to fix something around the house, I want to gain a little knowledge.
  • #20 now has a giant “OR” next to it: “OR see the Western Sydney Wanderers play in Melbourne.” With my Australia trip officially planned (start date, end date, and crunched budget to boot), a trip to Nashville is simply impossible. The only game left in Nashville is on 4/12 and I’ll be in Melbourne… which hopefully means seeing the WSW with Blake. YEP. I’M SNEAKY LIKE THAT.

Even though it looks like I haven’t accomplished much in the last couple of months, this is probably the most exciting update to my bucket list to date (which is great, considering I’ve only got about 4 months left to go). I can’t wait to write my next update when I can officially cross a few things off!

 

This lady is going back to Australia!

Yep, it’s happening… and it’s official! It’s been almost three years since I was last down under and if you ask me, that’s far too long (considering I refer to Australia as a second home of mine). Now that my international flights have been booked and I bonded with the Qantas customer service girl while secretly fangirling over her accent and the reality of what was happening, you might be wondering what I’ll be doing. I’ve got two big trips booked (Cairns & the Outback), plans to see Lauren in Gold Coast, plans to see Sophie and crew in Melbourne, and plans to see Blake in Sydney. Plus some assorted adventures like bridge climbing, a tattoo, a soccer game, and re-visiting old favorite places (maybe even finding new ones).

In a nutshell: four weeks, six cities, lots of friends, even more memories, and at least twice as many photos as my summer abroad.

I’ll be writing a post about the specifics of my trip as my departure date gets closer. Time to cross a lot of things off my “23” bucket list! In the mean time, here are a few of my favorite moments from my trip in 2011:

“23”: Updated (5/23 complete + an update)

1. Leave my job at IB

2. Get a new job (and love it)

3. Go back to Australia (to study, work, or take a vacation)

4. Meet and hang out with Blake

5. Get my first tattoo (if I’m feeling brave- second and third as well)

6. Hang out with Jessica (in NYC, NJ, or Chicago) again- without the anxiety this time

7. Visit California (esp. San Clemente & Kristen Stewart’s handprints @ TCL)

8. Get paid to write

9. Go on vacation with Amanda Our New Years Eve trip turned into a bit of a vacation… it’s a stretch, but we did spend 5 days together + 7 hours driving!

10. Run a 5K (with a few stops at most)

11. Do/try something new/spontaneous. Anything.

12. TBD

13. Meet someone famous (actor/musician/writer/athlete) I met Sophia Bush on November 6th!

14. Meet someone that impacts my life in a positive way

15. Impact someone’s life in a positive way

16. Fall in love (with a person, place, or hobby)

17. Finally finish my Invisalign treatment

18. Man up and get my wisdom teeth pulled

19. Go on a date (and maybe a second?!)

20. See the Blackhawks play in Nashville

21. Do something for myself

22. Read a total of 23 books

23. Find a new favorite spot in Chicago

Updates:

  • A trip to NYC/NJ without the anxiety was really about seeing my friend Jessica again, so I’ve stretched it a bit by adding Chicago as an option, in case she makes her way to me over spring break!
  • Calling our NYE trip a vacation is a stretch, but Amanda ok’d it.
  • I am reserving the right to alter #12, as I’ve decided I do not want my writing published on Thought Catalog for personal reasons.
  • There is a trip to Australia in the works. It’s going to cost me a lot, but I have a lot of reasons why I’m going to splurge on it: 1. it would be awesome to visit my sister while she’s abroad, 2. Blake and I made an agreement to see each other within a year, beginning when we started talking on a daily basis in March 2013, 3. I miss my friends there and it’s been almost three years since I’ve seen them, 4. Wanderlust is worth every penny, 5. if I can make said trip happen, I’ll have the opportunity to scratch between 7 and 9 total things off this list.
  • I’ve come up with the theory that in the process of writing the “23” bucket list, my subconscious mind tricked me into picking things that revolved around a trip to Oz.

Stay tuned!